Cheating Done Wrong.

Alright.

I understand cheating happens. It's absolute bullshit, but it happens. Then when it happened to me there were a few (reads: million) "how could you?" thoughts roaming around inside my brain. But after much (reads: drunken) contemplation, I managed to reach a couple conclusions as to why it just didn't make sense.

1. Cheating Appears To Be Time Consuming.
Now, while being on tour across the country played a major advantage in this one, it applies to the every day, stay local folk, as well. I mean, goodness gracious, there's a lot that goes into this sort of thing. You have to wiggle yourself away from a night of calls and texts from your significant other. Then you have to explain where you were the night before and why you smell like a brothel? After a while the whole myphonediedwhileiwasatthebaranduntiligothomeat4am excuse just doesn't seem to play out so well. Your phone battery can't be that bad, homeslice. And once you create one lie, there's a whole mess of other ones that have to follow suit. Honestly, I don't see how anyone has time for that garbage.

2. If You're Going to Cheat, At Least Upgrade.
I mean, REALLY. Unfortunately, I had the pleasure of seeing a few of the lovely ladies (PS I'm using the term "ladies" beyond loosely) and ho-lee buckets. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I at least have a nice rack. Girls and boys: if you're going to go through the trouble of breaking a heart and imploding your conscience, at least make it WORTH IT. Man OH man these girls were beyond unattractive. Don't lower your standards for the sake of a one night stand. Because that really just negates the entire purpose, now doesn't it? Who wants to brag about the halfway decent looking person they banged the night before?

That's what I thought.

My short and simple point is this: if you're bored, just save the trouble and get yourself single. THEN go for the ones you could have done, and did do, better than.